HOLY

Carson just got so excited and he said...

"HOLY.... Woops I almost just said HOLY and the 'S word' that would be bad. I meant HOLY JESUS! Or HOLY COW. So Mom is the 'S word' you know shit a bad word? Wait.... so does that make me the 'C word'?"

Left me speechless. There was just so much wrong there I didn't know where to start.

TOLD YA!

To all of you Obama fans that were so excited about change, and thought he was the greatest thing ever....

Is it too soon to be saying, "I TOLD YOU SO!!!"

I would love to wipe the smirk off his terroristic little face. Ewww.

HE IS A NIGHTMARE!

Swimmer

When your daughter is a swimmer:

~Their are swim suits all over your house

~You can always smell a hint of chlorine

~You spend lots of time in the car driving to and from practice

~You are constantly fighting to keep her hair from turning green or falling out

~You spend lots of time at the pool

~The laundry has tons of towels in it

~You go through lots of lotion

~And your kid is a very happy fish

WWF

Despite the ranting and scowling of some of the parents around, it was not the WWF!

Little League Wrestling was a blast and Carson loved most of it (the parts where he wasn't choked, bleeding, crying, or losing!). He is ready for next year. Am I?

Luck of the Irish to ya!

Since I failed to make the traditional Corned Beef and Cabbage that we all love so much I went with green cookies. Hope the kids are feeling lucky when they get home! I know I am lucky to be their Mom! And as for my St. Patties day wish... A pot of gold OF COURSE!!!

So true

(Just got this email from my pal Angie; made me laugh)

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning.... Uphill... Barefoot... BOTH ways… yadda, yadda, yadda

And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on my kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!

But now that I'm over the ripe old age of thirty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia!

And I hate to say it, but you kids today, you don't know how good you've got it!

I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have the Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!!

There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter - with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox, and it would take like a week to get there! Stamps were 10 cents!

Child Protective Services didn't care if our parents beat us. As a matter of fact, the parents of all my friends also had permission to kick our ass! Nowhere was safe!

There were no MP3's or Napsters or iTunes! If you wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the record store and shoplift it yourself!

Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio, and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up! There were no CD players! We had tape decks in our car.. We'd play our favorite tape and "eject" it when finished, and then the tape would come undone rendering it useless. Cause, hey, that's how we rolled, Baby! Dig?

We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called, they got a busy signal, that's it!

There weren't any freakin' cell phones either. If you left the house, you just didn't make a damn call or receive one. You actually had to be out of touch with your "friends". OH MY GOD !!! Think of the horror... Not being in touch with someone 24/7!!! And then there's TEXTING. Yeah, right. Please! You kids have no idea how annoying you are.

And we didn't have fancy Caller ID either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your parents, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, the collection agent... You just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!

We didn't have any fancy PlayStation or Xbox video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like 'Space Invaders' and 'Asteroids'. Your screen guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination!!! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen.... Forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!

You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel!!! NO REMOTES!!! Oh, no, what's the world coming to?!?!

There was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying? We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little rat-finks!

And we didn't have microwaves. If we wanted to heat something up, we had to use the stove! Imagine that!

And our parents told us to stay outside and play.... All day long. Oh, no, no electronics to soothe and comfort. And if you came back inside... You were doing chores!

And car seats - oh, please! Mom threw you in the back seat and you hung on. If you were luckily, you got the "safety arm" across the chest at the last moment if she had to stop suddenly, and if your head hit the dashboard, well that was your fault for calling "shot gun" in the first place!

See! That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled rotten! You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1980 or any time before!

Regards,

The Over 30 Crowd

Pretty in pink!

Steve with his pink blanket relaxing like a Princess and looking sexy!

Kiss the cook!

Coren is my little helper, and we have been doing lots of cooking lately. Not sure why?!?

The other day he decided to make home-made ice-cream sandwiches, and he did it all on his own with the help of a pouch of cookie mix and some ice-cream. He is so cute, I want to eat HIM!

Clownin around.

Threw up a little.

I got the kids these fun little bath eggs. You put them in the water, they fizzle away, and you end up with a little toy. Fun, right? Except the part where you end up with water looking like this.

Made me throw up a little in my mouth! Gross!!!

Blind as a?

Last week I took Coren to the doctor where they informed me that he had terrible eye sight and needed glasses. I was so confused. Last time we were there he had 20/20 and now he is blind? Deaf I would have believed, but blind. I immediately started to panic. I mean the worlds wildest child with glasses, this would be a disaster! I called the eye doctor and got him in the very next day.

Coren cried the whole way there, because he DID NOT want glasses!!! Once we arrived and were waiting for our appointment, the ladies had him try some on. Well, he was into them. Carson thought Coren looked SO cute, and I discussed insurance option with the nurse. After all, if Coren had glasses, they would be breaking a lot.

The doctor took us back and did a full exam. He was so confused because Coren had 20/20 vision. I was so relieved! Coren was so mad. He started to cry because he WANTED glasses. Kids!

Carson tried to make Coren feel better. He said, "Coren look at these pictures around here. The people that have glasses look so sad, and the ones that don't have glasses look so happy!"

I am just so glad the kid can see. I admit, he did look kind of cute in the glasses though!

Makenna mocking the most annoying commercial EVER!

I am scared.

My Makenna. What a child. She has a sense of humor far beyond her years. It freaks me out!!! Last weekend we were out at my parents and were watching my brothers wedding video. Well, during the part that Katie dances down the isle to Madonna's Like a Virgin, Makenna came dancing out with a white trash bag on mimicking a wedding dress and a sign she had made.

The sign had an arrow pointing at her and read:

VIRGIN

PS- Call me

We all laughed really hard. I am not not sure what I am going to do with this girl, but at least she keeps me laughing.

And yes, I think she knows what virgin means, which makes it all the scarier.

Break in.

Last night was a bad night!

I was at a church meeting and I came out to find my window bashed in and my purse and phone gone! It was a sick feeling. A sick feeling that I had actually had all night, even before this happened. Maybe next time I will listen to my intuition when I feel like something isn't right and I should go home.

I came home freaking out, and I think freaking everyone else out in the process. Steve thought I had been in an accident and the kids were just so confused. Makenna offered me all of her money, Carson got very upset and scared, and Coren assessed the damage and feel peacefully to sleep.

Steve tried to make me feel better and handled calling the bank and the cops. He tried to make me laugh by telling the cops, "My wife's giraffe purse was stolen..." by I had a hard time finding the humor.

In about an hours time they managed to charge over $600 at WalMart in West Valley and make three purchases at Dillards for over $200 each. They worked fast. They better hope they never meet me in a dark alley! I am so mad, violated, and broke thanks to them.

On the bright side, I did not come out while they were in the act. Knowing me I would have done something stupid and gotten beaten up or worse. Hopefully this will never happen again to me or anyone else. Be careful, it is a sick world out there!