Tell you how I really feel?

I had three problems today. First, my messy kids and all of their clutter including a big life sized cut out of a Vampire named Bella. Second, I am SO irritated at how fast people drive down my street, I mean really this is a neighborhood! And last but not least, I just felt a huge urge to let people know how I really feel.

Here is how it went down. I gathered the troops, meaning my little slaves that I gave birth to, and put them to work. They vacuumed and did laundry along with finding the floors of their rooms. Coren is a slob and a GIANT pack rat that I really need to whip into shape.

They whistled while they worked well not really but they didn't complain too much and before they knew it they had accomplished SO much!

I felt good about what they had done but I still had two problems. Fast drivers and that dumb vampire. Sorry y'all but I am just not into the whole Twillight thing. Call me weird, call me sane, call me what you will, but I think it is dumb!!! So there, I said it, now everyone will hate me and not want to be my friend. Oh well, at least I have my pride! LOL, just kidding!

So, I tore her into three (Bella that is), in a truly murderous way. I am not going to lie, their was some anger there. I placed her in the garbage just right hoping to scare some fools, and went to the window to watch. I thought I was so funny and clever... as usual.

Right away I got some lookers. What happened next shocked me. The neighbor that never talks to anyone and breaks up our late night parties by calling the cops on us drove by (did I mention that I shoveled his driveway once to be nice. Well I did and he didn't even care!!). He stopped his car. I was SURE he would call the cops on me and have me arrested. I guess I deserved it, treating that sweet vampire this way. I know, the world is in love with her. But I think she is freaky looking. Just FREAKY!

As I waited for the PO-PO to come and haul me away he turned his car around. He went home and started to march my way, his kids in tow. I was ready for him! I mean bring it, this was not a real body, and from what I have heard vampires cannot die (if I heard that right)! He walks right up to my garbage can, pulls out his phone and then..... starts to laugh and takes a picture of it! I was shocked! I bet he hates her too. I mean he is a HATER, right? I bet he likes me now! Now all of my neighbors like me. Ummm, I think! I HOPE! What is not to like? LOL. I might shovels his walks again just so he knows that we are kind of tight now.
Here is what I learned today. My kids can clean when forced to and I am going to make them do it more. Unexpected people find me funny after all and take the time to laugh at my jokes, while those that know me best expect me to murder vampires and drive by just as fast as usual.

People slow down or you might just be seein' the inside of of my little green can. Kenna, sorry but she had to go. Maybe if she was a Jacob cutout we could have kept him and drooled over his SEVENTEEN year old body. SEVENTEEN... girls, really? You should be going to jail! You and your nasty thoughts!

I bet Bella is missing in the morning. I would laugh so hard. She is a collectors item after all.

**** Update. After just two hours Bella had been stolen. I hope she is happy in her new home!**********