"The jungle"

Lipstick Jungle.  One of my favorite shows to watch.  In case you've missed it, it is about three sexy women, who are rich, business savvy, and leading quite glamorous lives.  They are all very successful business women; one a designer with a billionaire boyfriend, one a wife and mother who runs a huge company, and the other a lady with a boyfriend half her age who is of course, rich and successful.

Each has the most amazing wardrobe , money coming out their ears, and super dramatic lives. 

I watch and wonder if people seriously have lives like this.  After all the last time I wore lipstick and designer clothing was... uuummm.... NEVER!  The last time I had a boyfriend half my age was when I was two and my neighbor boy was one.  I thought he had nice diapers, and a lot of hair for a boy his age.  Young love!

My jungle:  The CARPOOL JUNGLE!  Instead of getting up, looking my best, and heading to my office each day, I roll out of bed about 7:30, put on whatever is laying on the floor closest to me, and drive the carpool.  I don't even comb my hair!

Carpool jungle? Yes it is a real thing.  It's a jungle out there!  A jungle full of mini-van's and SUV's.  Mom's that drive like bat's out of hell.  In a huge hurry to get to the next soccer game or WalMart; who knows where they are going in such a hurry!  If you drive the speed limit, or even a little faster, they pass you up and stare at you for as long as possible.  As they pass they growl at you, like you are some kind of freak.  They keep glaring, turning their necks to the breaking point, just to glare at you for as long as possible.  They want you to know how terrible you are for driving at such a pace.  They want you to know how fast their mini van goes.  Then they fly past you, and then darn... the light turns red.  Oh well, they are fast off the line.

On my street their is a speed bump.  The ladies around here all know that it is there.  It has been here for a few years now.  However, they fly down the road 30 mph and then next thing you know, they are catching air on the speed bump!  In defense of my fellow SUV drivers, this is mainly the minivanners!  Those vans can fly!  

Most experiences that I have had in a minivan have been scary.  Is it just me, or do these drivers not break until the last minute?  The front of the vans are really short, so I guess that gives them some false comfort, who knows?  For minivan drivers it is cut and dry... put the pedal to the metal, or slam on the breaks!

And now the point of this whole 'carpool jungle' rambling.  Today I drove the carpool.  I went to the school three times.  I drove to the preschool twice.  Between school pick up and drop offs I went to the grocery store two times!  I would say I spent a few good hours driving around town.  I opened the trunk three times.  I got some strange looks, but I always do.

At the end of the day I noticed this on the back of my car.  A "support pimpin" magnet.  Yes, I drove around with it all day.  It was there when I opened the back of the car several times.  It was there as I drove my kids around, and waited with all of the other Moms.  But I never noticed it!

Steve, you will pay for this!!!!!!!!!

I bought this dumb thing.  I put it on Steve's truck one day last year as a prank, and he noticed it before he even left the garage.  He then put it directly on my car, and I didn't see it for a long time!  Yes, I am a fool!

So, the glamorous life continues.  No, I do not wear lipstick and designer clothes.  I do not have a high paying job, or a rich boyfriend (I am looking), and I do not go to lavish events each night.  Instead, I buy my clothes on sale, buy my make-up at WalMart, and now I am the joke of all of the carpool Mom's!

I do support pimpin, I just didn't want everyone to know about it!