Friday, October 30, 2009

Vasectomized!

Yes, most people have a Vasectomy.  But Steve was Vasectomized.  Here's how.

The normal Vasectomy consists of a man walking into the Doctors office ready and willing to put an end to his baby making days.  He sits and waits, not excited, but certainly not at his wits end.  He would likely rather live and have a Vasectomy than die and be put out of his pain and suffering rather than have the procedure.  Even if he doesn't feel tough, he certainly acts tough.  He is ready, he is strong, and off he goes....

Then there is the VICTIM, there to be victimized, violated if you will.  The guys who just really doesn't want it done.  The guy who is there for one reason and one reason only.  His wife made him be there.  In order to keep peace and harmony in the home, and continue to receive his sexual privileges he walks into the office angrily.  Angry with his confused wife who is wondering why the TWO Xanax he took are not working, and worried that this guy to whom she is married might just turn around and run away at any minute.  Inside she is excited, even more excited than a child on Christmas, but nervous, because if it doesn't happen this time, it ain't gonna happen!  She will never get him back to this office.  He is there to be Vasectomized.

We sit down with the Doc who tells us the in's and outs of the procedure.  A procedure that Steve wanted to be sedated for.  I sign on the dotted line.  With pleasure.  Steve grabs the pen and does a little scribble.  I guess that was his signature.  As we head back to the procedure room the doctor does something horrible.  He sends me to the waiting room.  MAN, I was so excited to watch.  I even had my camera.  Steve laughed.

After some time had passed the doctor comes to the waiting room and motions for me to come back.  He takes me back and pulls me aside and says in a very concerned voice, "I'm sorry, we were not able to do the procedure today....."  My mouth dropped, my stomach sank, my heart raced."  Then he started to laugh.  I had been punked.

Around the corner I saw him.  There was Steve alive and well.  Walking, talking, and breathing on his own... I'm sure to his surprise.  His face was red, his lips were dry.  I could tell those were a hard 20 minutes for him.  He had on a jock strap, which brought back some of the manhood, but he will never be the same.  He will always feel like a little bit of his manhood was snipped away today.

He has refused to admit that it wasn't so bad, but has yet to complain either.  His face was red because he was rubbing it the whole time, something out of a horror flick I'm sure.  The doctor kept asking him to relax, making small talk.  It had to be a sight.  And I missed it!

So there he sits on his throne of ice, milking this for all its worth.  The victim of a vasectomy and a wife that just had to have her way.

Needless to say Steve will not be the next Vasectomy spokesperson, but if you need to know how it feels to be Vasectomized, he is the guy to ask.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Party People!

Saturday was our 4th Annual Lowry Johns Halloween Party.  I cannot believe that we have been doing this for so long already.  We gather up a few neighborhood friends and party away.  I am so EXCITED for next year because our basement will be finished and I am going to invite all of my friends to the party, no matter where they live.  So get ready people... next year is Celebrity Year and the party will be HUGE!

Obamas Forever!!!  YES WE CAN!





























Sunday, October 25, 2009

Greetings from the White House

We had another great Halloween Party this year.  

"The first Family"
President and Mrs. Obama.  Mr. President was proudly sporting the Nobel Peace Price he won for absolutely no reason.  As a family, and a nation, we are all so proud of him! 
The Girls!  Sasha and Maila.
Michelle gone wild!



And of course, there are many many more pictures to come!

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

NEW BOOTS!

I am SO excited.  I have been looking for some great boots at a great price and today was my lucky day!  I LOVE THESE boots.  They are so cute and equally comfortable.  Plus they are Maddens which are my favorite brand.   I had to show them off.  Aren't they the cutest???

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

What a builder!

~ Anniversary gift 2003 ~

Steve is seriously the most talented builder I know (not body builder LOL j/k babe).  He can build anything.  Even if he has never done it before, he just somehow figures it out.  I love that about him.  He has built hundreds of houses and now is starting to build lots of buildings.  I love that he built our house, but I also really love the porch swing he made me.

On our first anniversary he took a bunch of 2X4's cut them down, shaped them, and did whatever builders do and made the a porch swing for our awesome porch.  At that time we lived in a cute little old cottage style home that had a huge porch.  It was just begging for a swing.  I loved it.  Over the years it had gotten pretty weathered, so last week I sanded it down with a belt sander (which was the most powerful thing I have ever seen!  I broke the belt in the first 5 minutes which had Steve laughing pretty hard, followed by the those are expensive so be a little more careful now.  Followed by laughing and "I knew that would happen!") and then stained and put a protectant on it.  I love it!
At the same time, Steve replaced our front door so that our old one could be used for our cold storage.  I am WAY excited about the door.  The windows are really lighting up my life!  No really!  So we now have a nicely matching door and porch swing.  I am in love (with Steve)!
Today is CrAzY HaIr DaY

Monday, October 19, 2009

Watch out!

WARNING!!!
Do not let the smile fool you.  I am on a rampage!  If you do not have to come into contact with me, stay away, it is for your own good, trust me!   I am in a no bull, no hold back mood (otherwise known as being a total bitch) and making enemies all along my path of destruction.  

Tomorrow I will wake up, put on a smile, and go back to being nice.   Sorry to the many of you that hated me today, I will make it up to you... if that is possible!  Oh and thanks to those who understood, laughed, and said that they loved me anyways.  

Do they make a pill for this?

Funny boy!

Coren "DID NOT" walk on the counter.  He swears!!!
Coren: "Mom are these pants my lakes?"
Mom: "No those are your FLOODS!"

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Let's hear it for the girl!

Kenna had a swim meet this weekend.  She did awesome.  She hasn't had one for a few months, and it is obvious that she has improved tons.

Event           Previous Time               This meet
Freestyle                    25.03                                 19.91
Backstroke                  24.53                                  22.69
Breaststroke               31.56                                  27.84

We are SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO proud of her.  GO KENNA!

Monday, October 12, 2009

Crazy!


Isn't it weird how one day you can be here, and the next day you can be gone?  Anytime I hear about someone who dies it makes me so sad, even if I don't know them, because hearing about their life I realize how special they were... to someone.

There are so many people out there that I have never even met, and so many that I know... it is just a shame that we have to lose people.

That is my thought.  What does it have to do with the picture????  Nothing, but isn't it crazy too?  The picture does NOT do this yard justice.

Friday, October 9, 2009

The boys!

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Grrrr, I am 32 now!

I know one thing, waking up to find that you are a year older is never a fun thing.  This year, on my 32nd birthday, I woke up and thought, "OH SHIT, I am 32 now!"  I rolled out of bed angry that I was aging, hoping to at least be a little "wiser" to find the kids up and ready to party.  They were in party hats and blowing little horns.  So cute!
On the table I found some presents and they had made me a sign with LEGOS that read:
MOM
32!
(I loved it, but wished it read Mom... happy 21st birthday you sexy thing!!)

I am so glad that my cute kids made me have a wonderful morning!  I spent the afternoon with my Mom, which was great!!  Later, Steve came home from work and surprised me and took me out to Pei Wei, my favorite!!!  My day was filled with calls, emails, gifts, and visits from so many of my awesome family and friends.  I am so blessed, even if I am 32.  Thanks everyone for a great Birthday!!!