Vasectomized!

Yes, most people have a Vasectomy.  But Steve was Vasectomized.  Here's how.

The normal Vasectomy consists of a man walking into the Doctors office ready and willing to put an end to his baby making days.  He sits and waits, not excited, but certainly not at his wits end.  He would likely rather live and have a Vasectomy than die and be put out of his pain and suffering rather than have the procedure.  Even if he doesn't feel tough, he certainly acts tough.  He is ready, he is strong, and off he goes....

Then there is the VICTIM, there to be victimized, violated if you will.  The guys who just really doesn't want it done.  The guy who is there for one reason and one reason only.  His wife made him be there.  In order to keep peace and harmony in the home, and continue to receive his sexual privileges he walks into the office angrily.  Angry with his confused wife who is wondering why the TWO Xanax he took are not working, and worried that this guy to whom she is married might just turn around and run away at any minute.  Inside she is excited, even more excited than a child on Christmas, but nervous, because if it doesn't happen this time, it ain't gonna happen!  She will never get him back to this office.  He is there to be Vasectomized.

We sit down with the Doc who tells us the in's and outs of the procedure.  A procedure that Steve wanted to be sedated for.  I sign on the dotted line.  With pleasure.  Steve grabs the pen and does a little scribble.  I guess that was his signature.  As we head back to the procedure room the doctor does something horrible.  He sends me to the waiting room.  MAN, I was so excited to watch.  I even had my camera.  Steve laughed.

After some time had passed the doctor comes to the waiting room and motions for me to come back.  He takes me back and pulls me aside and says in a very concerned voice, "I'm sorry, we were not able to do the procedure today....."  My mouth dropped, my stomach sank, my heart raced."  Then he started to laugh.  I had been punked.

Around the corner I saw him.  There was Steve alive and well.  Walking, talking, and breathing on his own... I'm sure to his surprise.  His face was red, his lips were dry.  I could tell those were a hard 20 minutes for him.  He had on a jock strap, which brought back some of the manhood, but he will never be the same.  He will always feel like a little bit of his manhood was snipped away today.

He has refused to admit that it wasn't so bad, but has yet to complain either.  His face was red because he was rubbing it the whole time, something out of a horror flick I'm sure.  The doctor kept asking him to relax, making small talk.  It had to be a sight.  And I missed it!

So there he sits on his throne of ice, milking this for all its worth.  The victim of a vasectomy and a wife that just had to have her way.

Needless to say Steve will not be the next Vasectomy spokesperson, but if you need to know how it feels to be Vasectomized, he is the guy to ask.