love thy dog

Yes, we were "those parents" that gave the kids a puppy for Christmas.

But soon I realized that I had made a huge mistake!!  I tried to cope, but I couldn't!  I finally turned to the bottle hoping to get through the puppy years.  Soon my drinking became so bad that the kids were drinking.  Anytime Coren saw the dog coming he would grab my bottle and start chugging!  I knew it was wrong, but we were in survival mode.  We had a puppy, it was the only way to make it through!

It will forever be held over my head that I got rid of the family dog because he peed in my shoe.  Every time my kids see a dog, they say, "We had to sell Max because he peed in your favorite shoe, huh Mom?"

Such guilt!  But, I always go back to all the crap he did that made me hate him like scratching up the whole room trying to get out of it, punishing me if we left the house without him, but peeing in the car if I was nice enough to bring him along, getting up in the morning and peeing by or in the kids beds, running away from me and making me chase him around like a FOOL, and the list goes on and on, and on and on.  Really it is a long list!

Still, being the nice Mom that I keep telling myself and every one else that I am, I feel bad about it.  I wish that he could have just been a good little dog, and then we could have kept him.  I wish that he would not have peed in my FAVORITE shoe.  That dog knew it was my favorite shoe, he was smart.  Too smart for a dog!  There were other shoes all around and he walked up to that one and just peed right in it!  GRRRR!

I guess it is time to let the anger go!  I am over it.  Lately, I think I am too over it because every time I see a cute little puppy for sale I think that I need to get it for the kids.  I feel like kids need a dog.  I will have to sit there and take myself back to the bad times, and then finally I am able to walk away.

Yesterday at WalMart (I feel like I start so many sentences that way) there was a nice guy sitting outside selling two puppies.  They were so cute.  I am not sure if I have ever seen such cute dogs.  The kids ran over, and the nice man was letting them pet them.  I was getting drawn in.  I started to shake a little bit.  I was kind of reaching for my wallet, but wondering what was wrong with me.  I am so mental sometimes.  

Then the guy looked over and said, "$250" and I just looked at him and said, "You know what...?  You would have to pay me $250 to take one of these!!!" He was stunned.  I am sure he thought I was such a witch, but I had to be. Then I grabbed the kids and got to the car as fast as I could.

As soon as we got in the car I took a deep breath, put my purse down, and relaxed, just in time to have Coren say, "Remember when we had to sell Max because he peed on your shoe?"