Gas glorious Gas.

Today I got kind of high.  Not high on life... high ( like druggie high), and it was wonderful.  I am usually so healthy.  I do not even drink caffeine or soda, I exercise very regularly, and for the most part I eat pretty well.  So today was the day I let loose and got really high.  

It all started with a trip to the dentist.  I had a chipped tooth that needed repair.  Imagine my surprise when they told me that I was going to need a shot to numb the pain, "and just so you know, this is the most painful spot to get a shot, so be prepared." I looked at that lady and said, "Stop, I can't handle a shot, how about the gas?"  

How about the gas?  I had no idea how smart I was in asking for the gas.  This is where the story begins.

They placed the mask over my nose.  This is not my first experience with the gas, so I knew that they deeper breaths I took the faster it would kick in.  I started to breathe really deep and get as much of that stuff in my system as I could.    First, I felt it in my feet.  Tingling.  And then my whole body started to tingle.  This was relaxing, and I was really enjoying it.  If that was as good as it got, I would have been happy.  But NO, it got so much better.

The Dentist came in and told me that he would need to grind down the tooth, and to tell him if I started to feel it.  Well, I started to.  So (and this is where it started) he said that he would turn UP the gas.  Turn it up?  "OH YEAH BABY!!"

"Breathe deep," he instructed.  "Doctors orders," I thought.

Here is where it gets weird, and I got high.  He told the nurse to bring in a dancing snowman and a Santa that climbs a rope to entertain my boys.  As he pushed the button on the snowman it began to light up and dance.  It had a big belly the moved around and it sang Frosty the Snowman.  The boys started to laugh, and he then showed it to me.  It was like a big white blur with flashing lights, and then my eyes shut for a minute.  The dentist laughed.

He told the nurse, "Pull down Santa's pants and he will climb" (OK, at least that's what I heard) and she chuckled.  This was the point where he told the nurse to get one of those little devices to hold my mouth open for me.  Breathe deep, I told myself.

With that, my eyes shut, and I felt myself leaving.  As I drifted off the Dentist began to sing along with Frosty.  "Frosty the snowMAAAANNNN!!!"  The snowman part was so loud, and in an opera voice.  It sounded like he was an evil man in the next room singing so loud.  The nurse would chuckle.  I thought, "That is weird, why is he singing so loud?  Oh well, just breathe, and relax."  The dentist laughed.  The nurse chuckled.

Then I would hear my kids push Frosty's button again, and the dentist would say, "oh no, what have we gotten ourselves into?"  When he would say that, it would make no sense to me.  It was like his words were all mixed up.  It sounded like he had terrible grammar, and it was baffling me.  "Why is this guy so dumb?  Doesn't he know basic English?"  I would think.

After who knows how long, and who knows what going on, I let go.  I was gone.  Off to La-La Land.  And LOVING it!  I remember thinking, "you are going, you are almost gone, just go!"

Sometime later I stared to see a light.  A bright light at the end of a tunnel (I am serious).  Sadly, it was the light of day, and the dentist was talking about how great my tooth looked.  "Crap, did he turn off the gas?"  I thought.  It was sad to have it come to an end.  I had gone somewhere for a while.  It was a great place.  I am not sure where I was or what happened, but I know that it was a place I would love to go again.  (I wonder what my kids were doing that whole time.  Oh well!)

They gave me some oxygen.  Let's just say that I wasn't quite so excited about breathing that, but I did.  The kids were back, and I had to get up.  My druggie day was over.  

So, I will end this story like this.  Today started out really well.  I liked it really a lot!  I think I liked it too much.  My tooth is fixed, the dentist is retarded and sings crazy, and for just about 20 minutes I went away.  

Note to self:  I see a possible addiction to gas, avoid dentist offices in the future.

Note to kids:  Just say NO to drugs!  Seriously, they are bad.