I am amazing! Really!

A Relief Society inspired post:

What is all this talk about flock?  Christmas is in the air for many, but not for us!  Here at the Johns' house, we are VERY on top of the Holidays.  While so many people are bustling about worried about getting their shopping done and lights on their house, we are sitting back and laughing.  Why?  Because we, organized we, do not procrastinate!  No!  In fact, we did Christmas in March.

Christmas in March, that's right!  And not just Christmas 2008, we celebrated Christmas 2009.  We are not really into wasting time, and we don't like to be like those people... you know the ones.  The ones that do everything on time, or maybe even a little late.  OUCH, the thought just hurts me.  Our Tree has been up and down three times this year alone!

Last Halloween while I was doing my Valentines shopping, I saw the store associates on the next isle putting up Christmas.  I heard a woman GASP and say, "Christmas in October?  Can't we get through Halloween first???"  My thought was, "Lady, I can't believe you are still searching for a costume.  I just bought my valentines."  The nerve of these people.  I mean really, I have my Halloween costumes for the next five years purchased.  I even searched and found the costumes that are going to be the in thing at that time.  I know, most of you haven't heard of some of the SUpERhERo'S that are going to be out in three years, but trust me, they are amazing.  Only the Mom's that are really on top of things know about them.  (Hold on, I need to stick my nose higher into the air... that's better!)  Let me continue.

Thanksgiving is one holiday that we actually celebrate in November, but we do it the week before everyone else, and we eat the turkey that we would have eaten the next year.  I spend days preparing the meal, in fact, most people have never even heard of the gourmet dishes I make.  Did you know that I raise my own turkeys?  I do!  I hand feed them organic corn each morning.  They are so cute, it is always hard to see them go.  My mouth is watering just thinking about it.  Funny story... Oprah actually asked me to make her Thanksgiving dinner next year.  Unfortunately, we are doing Easter that day.  Darn!  But I am flattered; really I am.

We were coloring Easter eggs a few weeks back and the kids said the cutest thing.  "Mommy dearest"  one said with a smile, "You are the best Mom ever.  I am so glad that you are not like the other Mom's.  And, Mom, you are so pretty too!"  I melted my heart.  Leave it to Beaver... I mean leave it to Carson, to make a cute comment like that.  

On another note, I voted today!  Yes, the election is 4 years out, but I am not sure if I will be busy that day.  They looked at me funny when I turned in my ballot.  I explained my situation and they kindly obliged me.  The ballot was blank, so I simply wrote ... I vote for the other guy, that "change" was a bunch of crap!  I hope that works.  

When I got home I gutted some pumpkins and made homemade pies for the next five years!  The aroma filled my home, and luckily I found space in the freezer to store them.  I made 84 dozen rolls a few months back (let me know if you want the recipe, it is Divine) and they take up some space.  Luckily we have a walk in freezer in our storage room.

We have a busy few days coming up.  First, we are getting family photos for Mother's Day 2015.  I have become a whiz on Photo Shop and have gotten particularly good at age progression.  I can't wait to see what my little dumplings will look like in 6 years.  Then, we are having our first annual Hanuka celebration.  Everyone is welcome, just bring a candle to light.  If you want you can stay to make homemade egg dye with fresh garden flowers.  I think that if we just smash the flowers enough they will liquefy.  I am going to store the dye to use when I have Grand kids of my own.  Handmade Easter eggs!  What an Easter that will be!  I can see the eggs now.

I have also promised to take Kenna shopping for her first prom dress.  Don't worry, we might just buy the material and make it at home.  Store bought is so cliche.  We are above that.

You know, it feels good.  It just feels so good to be on top life!  I wish that everyone could do it as well as me.  Sometimes I just want to stand on the rooftop and shout out to all of the other women, "HEY, check me out!  I have OUTDONE YoU!  Just when you thought you were on top of things... (then maybe I would flip them all the bird or something)"

~Oh, and on a side note, yes, I finally got up the damn tree.  Coren was so excited that it finally happened that he wanted to sleep under it.  Instead of Mother of the year award 2008, I expect my plaque to say simply "MOTHER."