The dating game!

These two fine looking men have been lookin for love in all the wrong places.  They are both very handsome and obviously have a great sense of humor.  They need your help to find them the woman of their dreams. 

Bachelor #1 is a successful man who has a smile that will light up the room.  He is very kind and loving, and is always doing sweet things for

 others.  He has great style that you could compare to Abe Lincoln gone rock and roll.  Get him while you can... he is not getting any younger!  This firecracker can be reached on his email pre-womanizer@coolkid.com.

Bachelor #2 appears to have a possible drug problem, but do not 

let that scare you away.  He may look a little womanly under all of that thick facial hair, but this guy is 100% man.  Sports... you
 name it, he can play it like a PRO!  You may have seen him at your local gym buffing up, that's right ladies his stomach looks like a 24 pack!  This guy is ready to move that special lady into his bachelor pad tonight!  Grab a beer, get your pool stick ready, and call this hunk at 446-STUD today!  It is amazing this one is still available, call before it is too late!!

Easily excited.

Today I decided that I am a big loser!  

           Here is why...

-  Whenever I talk to someone about a movie that I want to see they say, "Oh, that movie sucks, don't waste your time!"  Then I watch it, and I always love it.  I find pretty much any movie entertaining.

-  I get really excited about reality t.v.  It is pretty sad when your life is so boring that you get all wrapped up in the lives of complete strangers and find yourself really liking these people and getting attached to them.  They are like the friends I never had. (Ha ha ha)

-  And here is what put me over the edge of loserville.  We just had a new WalMart open and I was SO excited about it.  I went there for the big grand opening, and I found myself smiling when I drove into the parking lot.  I realized I was smiling, so I tried to stop smiling and I couldn't.  Then, they were giving out free hot dogs.  I waited in this big old line to get me and Coren a free hot dog (that ended up being cold) but I was so excited because the hot dog was free.  When we left me and Coren were talking about how it is the nicest WalMart we have ever been to... and that was my light bulb moment.  LOSER!!!  

Speaking of WalMart, I think that it is a problem.  There are so many things at that place that make me crazy.  First, they make me shop there.  I do not want to shop there, but I have no choice.  They put their prices so low that I cannot afford to go anywhere else.  Everytime I go, I swear that it will be the last time.  But, I always go back.  Second, it makes me have to go to the bathroom.  Every time I go to WalMart I have to go so bad.  Not only is it cheap, but apparently, it really gets the bowels moving.  My theory is that the pressure in that place is messed up.  Coren goes at least twice each visit.  We seriously spend a lot of time in their NASTY bathrooms.  Third, the people there are wacky!  If you look around at the people shopping there you will see a wide variety of weirdo's including, child abusers (usually abusing their children right in the store) and my all time favorite, the people buying their new flat screen t.v. with food stamps! 

Just today at WalMart I had the following strange experiences.  First, the girl that was checking me out (not like I was hot checking me out, but scanning my groceries) who was a lovely young girl with her throat tattooed, asked me if I was speaking in English or Bosnian.  I replied that I only know English and she said, "Oh, my husband is from Bosnia and you sounded like you said 'will you get that' in Bosnian."  I reminded her that I only speak English, and she then asked what other languages I speak!?!!??  She also said that she was quitting (today was the first day that they were open) but that is probably a good thing for WalMart.  It was a great conversation, confusing, but funny all at the same time.

Then, I glanced over and noticed two ladies dressed as Disney Princess's greeting the kids.  One was Belle, and one was Cinderella.  This is going to sound rude, but they were the not the cutest girls you have ever seen.  They looked like the Polygamist girls that pass out the samples.   I kept thinking...weird...that just doesn't look right.

Have you ever noticed the kids that are playing 'guitar hero' back in electronics?  They are always SO GOOD.  You know that they have the game at home and play it all day long, and then they come to WalMart and play it too.  Why?  

Then, I am walking to my car and the cart boy (well, OK he was like a 70 year old man) was taking a big stack of carts back into the store.  Next thing you know 4 of the carts break away.  They start to roll towards a car.  He looks at them rolling away, thinks for a second, and then continues walking into the store.  I went to grab the carts, and then realized that Coren would roll away, so I just kept walking.  I didn't even look to see what happened.  At that point I just wanted to leave.

There were many other things that happened, those were just the highlights.  I think I will go back tomorrow.

Beach Day!

Makenna had a school beach day.  She was so excited, and got fancied up in her coolest beach attire.  I thought that she looked really cute with her friend Ashlee, and had to capture the moment.

If you are unfamiliar with a beach day, you will be surprised to learn what it is, and even more surprised that they were so excited.  Here is the description of what you do at beach day in Makenna's words:  You get to get all dressed up and sit on the lunchroom floor and eat trout!  

Crashing the Cannery!

No, this is not some weird Laverne and Shirley re-run, this is Mandy and Brandi and the story of how we crashed the church cannery.

Anyone who knows me well, is probably surprised that I went to the church cannery to stock up on wheat, rice, and other food storage.  It is not my style.  However, lately with the gas prices and food prices going up, as well as all of the natural disasters in the world, I have felt the need to stock pile food.  We will not go hungry!

Our friend Tawnee suggested that Mandy and I go and can us some food, and she would watch all of the kids.  We thought that she was the crazy one and agreed.  Let me first say that neither of us had been to a food cannery and were kind of nervous.  What made us even more uneasy was the fact that you are supposed to have an appointment and we didn't, so we decided to just act like we were supposed to be there.  

We showed up and the first thing they asked is basically if we were supposed to be there.  We acted like blonde's, and next thing we knew we were in!  We got the quick tour and got to canning.  It seemed easy at first, and then we were moving at the speed of light and those bags were HEAVY.  We were on a roll, until we got kicked out... the first time.

They came and made us leave because we were not supposed to be there, and someone that was supposed to be there needed our table.  We were a little sad because we were doing so well, but we started to clean up anyways.

The next thing we knew, there was another empty table, so we though, hey let's go.  We made a huge mistake and decided to can dry milk.  It was horrible.  It got into the air, into our mouths, and all over us.  That smell...  YUCK!  I will never do that again.  Then they came up and were like, "I thought you guys already left."  So, at that point we were kicked out for good.

We gathered the food we had canned and left.  We were tired, hot, hungry, dirty, and needless to say, glad that we do not work in a factory for a living.  It was fun, but I think next time, we will be the ones watching the kids!

And Dad too...

As if we don't already have a ton of games, Steve called on his way home from work and said that he was going to be a sub for his friends team that night.  By some miracle, we were game free, so the whole family went out to watch.  Steve always tells me that he sucks at softball, so I wasn't really sure what to expect.  However, he is VERY good, and it was so much fun to watch him play and have some fun.

Makenna was very impressed and was the team cheerleader.  She let everyone know how great they did, especially Dad.

As a side note, I would like to thank my friend Mandy for saving my life when there were so many other lives to be saved.  She heard someone yell "BALL" and covered my head and not the heads of her children, my children, or even herself.  Now that is love.  Thanks Mandy!  If that ball would have hit me I would have become even more brain dead then I already am.  That could have been a tragedy!  I owe you one!

Girls night.

I love it when I have a night out with the girls.  While it doesn't happen as often as I would like it to, I usually get to go out at least once a month if not more.  This past week a few friends got together and went out to dinner.  It is amazing how long dinner lasts when there are so many chatty women, but there is always plenty to say and lots to laugh about.

This time, one of my friends Hilarie, who is just really funny anyways, made the greatest comment.  I couldn't stop laughing and had to share it.  

I was telling everyone that the country singer Collin Ray had just moved into a house near ours.  Of course they didn't believe me at first.  After a few minutes Hilarie yells, "Milus Ray's Dad????!!!!"  We all started to bust up when we realized that she meant Milee Cyrus, daughter of Billy Ray Cyrus.  It was pretty funny.  So for anyone out there looking for a girls name... have you considered Milus?

Destructo Girl

Carson's bed had been jumped on one too many times.  It was beyond repair, and I didn't really know what to do with it.  I told Makenna that if she helped me get the broken bed outside, she could destroy it.  She was extremely excited.  Just a few minutes after she got the hammer, the bed was in many pieces and she was beating what was left of it like a mad woman.  It was really funny to watch, and I think that she was able to get any anger out of her system.  

The muffin in the mirror.

A very horrible thing happened to me, and I am taking immediate and drastic action to get this problem fixed now, and fixed for forever.  

Imagine this for a minute...the muffin to the left is not the delicious

 looking treat that it may appear to be, but it is actually the body of someone who has not been very active for the last month or so.

The paper baking cup is her legs in the fitted shorts she finally pulled out as she was so excited for the warm weather.  The 'muffin top' is the fat that oozed out of those shorts creating a very disturbing image for all of those that came running to the shrieks and shrills she belted out in front of the mirror.  Everyone was alarmed, confused, and very frightened.

Like the muffin above, this muffin was not one that any sane person would sink their teeth into. Instead, her family gathered round and poked their fingers into the muffin top, and searched for words of hope, encouragement, and of course understanding.  She could not be comforted and vowed to a life free of sugar, full of veggies, and packed with daily exercise!

You see, the woman that I am talking about almost took her life that day.  Extreme?  Maybe! How can months of hard work to stay fit be so easily erased?  How can overeating and sitting around do this so quickly?  It's sick, very sick, and it has to stop.

To all of the women (and men) out there that have beat the bulging muffin I HATE YOU, and to those that are like me, fighting to not look like the pastries that we love so much, I FEEL YOUR PAIN!  I am going to work hard at this, and some day my muffin top will be a thing of the past, and hopefully, next time someone hears my screams they will be those of joy as I look in the mirror and see a spaghetti noodle staring back at me.

Happy Mudder Days!

My cute kids were so excited for Mother's Day.  They had all made me something either at school or at church and they just couldn't wait to give it to me.  We had a great morning and just layed around and had fun together.  They all gave me their presents with a big hug and a "Happy Mudder Days!"  from Coren.  I was very excited because I finally got my very own treadmill, and we all spend some time trying it out.  

Later in the day we went to a big picnic at the park with my family and finished it off at the Johns for dessert.  It was a great day, and it was nice to spend time with our Mother's!  I think it needs to be Mother's Day more often!  We deserve it!

Race for the Cure!

We were able to go this morning and race for the cure for breast cancer, with my Mom who is fighting cancer, my Aunt Sheri, and our family.  We, along with 17,000 other people had a great time walking the streets of Salt Lake for a great cause, one that is very important to us.  Our stroller sat empty as the boys felt the spirit of the race and wanted to walk.  Carson's goal was to walk the entire race, and he did a great job, especially considering that he was sick.  Makenna and Mom tried to run, but there were so many people we only made it about a mile.  We could have ran more, we just couldn't move!  Next year Makenna!

It was great to start off Mother's Day weekend with my Mom and my kids, and I hope that this 11 year tradition will continue for many years to come.

ADHD

I have always known that he has a problem.  His inability to sit still for any length of time, his constant need to be on the go, his difficulty in doing more than one thing at a time, and the ability to get by on such a short amount of sleep have proved it.  This however was extreme, even for him.  

It was 9:30 and Steve was missing.  This is normal.  However what he was doing was not normal.  He had decided that he needed to accomplish something, so after a very long day, and an early morning ahead, he decided to spray paint our can lights to match the soffit!!!???  

Steve, you need help!  I think that there is a pill that you can take for your "problem!"  It IS o.k. to relax...it is even good for you!

By the way...the can lights look great, thanks for risking your life to make our house match better.  :)

Jordan River Parkway

We love to go to a trail by our house called the Jordan River Parkway.  It is a big long trail that runs along a river and has a lot of birds and fun things to see along the way as well as tons of fun parks to stop at.  Usually when we go on this trail, I run and Steve takes the kids on the bikes, but because of my injury I got my bike out.  We had a lot of fun, the weather was great, and it was nice to get out and do something active!

The boys love riding in their bike trailer and it is a really good workout for the person pulling them.  We went to a park after our ride and the boys got their scooters out.  Coren decided that the playground looked more like the perfect scooter ramp and made a game out of riding his scooter down the play set.  It was so funny and he was SO into it, so I took a clip of his creation.

Brutal honesty

Last night after we put the kids to bed, Steve and I decided that would would have a 'sing star' competition.  If you don't know what sing star is, you are missing out on some great fun!  Sing star is a game on PlayStation 3 that is kind of like karaoke.  Basically you choose your song and sing away and the game tells you how well you did.

We decided that the best of 7 was the winner and began to compete.  We had it on a setting where we both sang at the same time and you could see the score as you singing, so of course, it was pretty intense.  The songs started out quiet, because the kids were in bed, but as the night went on, we kept turning it up louder and louder.  Eventually we were singing and dancing our hearts out, and both losing our voices.

After an hour I was the winner and thanked all of my fans for their support.  Then we went into Makenna's room.  She just gave us this dirty look and acted like she was in pain or something.  I asked her who SHE thought was the best and she said in all seriousness, "You both SUCK!"  

I looked at Steve and said, "I thought you sounded really good, did I sound good?"  "Oh yeah, You sounded great," he said.  We were so confused!  The truth hurts!!!  I guess we will have to practice more often, or maybe we can use our singing as a form of punishment.  We would have the most well behaved kids EVER!

**I do need to point out that this morning Carson said that he heard us singing crazy last night.  He said that we sounded really good, especially when we sang 'Skater Boy' and Coren said that Mom sounded the best...sorry Steve!**

Tim the Grad!

Saturday night we went to a big celebration party for Big Tim's graduation.  We had a great time with all of his family and friends, and best of all our kids had so many little friends to play with which was great.

Tim has been going to school ever since we have known him so we are so excited for him to be done and to be able to move on with his career.

I asked Carson to take a picture of Steve and I with Tim.  I was amazed at how good the picture turned out for a five year old photographer.

Then, Coren said he wanted to take a picture of me, and I was equally shocked at how well his turned out!  These kids have some talent!

Anyways, Congratulations to Tim.  That is such a huge accomplishment.  I hope that some day I am able to go to school and get my degree, maybe in the very near future!

Selective hearing

My boys, one in particular (Coren) have some major hearing problems.  It is not that they cannot hear, but it is that they choose not to hear the things that they do not want to hear.

This morning, I put them in the tub.  I filled the water up about half way and told them that I was going to go and dry my hair, and to leave the water off.  A few minutes later, I was walking down the hall and heard the water going.

I pulled open the shower curtain, and saw Coren in control of the faucet, and the water filled to the top of the tub.  I reminded them that I had asked that the water stay off and Coren gave his usual response...

                             "It was an accident!"

This is the same thing that he tells me when he hits someone, 

draws on the wall, or whatever he does that he shouldn't have. 

Carson on the other hand is always very innocent.  He was there, but had nothing to do with it, ever!  Funny, I think.  He is just the idea man, but knows that Coren will take the fall for the follow through.  These boys better watch out because I am on to them and there naughty ways!  Cute, yes...

                                                                                                                                     Trouble...for sure!